Nialle on missing Hogwarts Day: "I'm not observant. I only bother with Hallowe'en. Mostly because J is exactly as alive as Harry Potter's parents are dead."

This Is Why We Have No LEGOs...

"Give me 15 minutes and some imagination and I'll build you a LEGO manitou!" - Ali, after Nialle mentioned wanting a LEGO archetype set

"Between the cats and the books, every time I come in here, the studying just doesn't get done." - A customer, quite content to make friends with Nierme

You know it's an ACE night when

"You're okay? Okay, well, I have to get back. Antony just died, and I'm hoping they'll let me play Cleopatra's death." - Customer speaking into cellphone

What not to put in a book blurb, part 7890487639046707

ALI: Actually worse than "utterly readable." Yeah. It said "absolutely readable."
NIALLE: If you plot it on a curve, it approaches infinite... being in English?
ALI: There was even one that said "unbearably readable."
NIALLE: What does that mean? It's so not incomprehensible that it hurts? ...No, I know what it means. You know all those people with smooth brains? This is like a waffle iron!

"Will you guys quit wielding rodents and get back to work??!!" - Nialle, to Ali and Ross, who were facing off with a tiny white rabbit and a squirrel, respectively

"I can't cuddle with a gastropod!" - Nialle, RE: tiny snail puppet

These Things Really Happen...

"Why donate my body to science, when I can have it turned into writing implements?" - Ross

Followed by:

"Use your tarsals and phalanges to make a primitive form of typewriter." - Nialle

This conversation followed a previous one for a hypothetical coffee chain called Cthulhu Coffee (because Nialle put tiny Cthulhus into a Vincent Van Gogh coffee mug... long story). Possible drinks for the Cthulhu Coffee chain include:

- The Arkham Americano
- Shoggoth Green Tea
- The Re-Animator (the Cthulhu Coffee version of the depth charge, black coffee with 2 shots of espresso)

"Is curmudgeon a sound effect?" - Jon, to Nialle

"Your intentions are dishonorable!" - Sir Alistair Hornsby (the garden snail puppet via Nialle) to Ross, who threatened to use a cat as a towel

"Time isn't allowed to pass until I'm done with it!" - Nialle

"Trees don't belong in cans." - Ali, referring to pine-scented spray cans

"Good decisions club. Be a member." - Sydney, to Logan

"I live for the indignant yo-yo face!" - Ali

"I want them to make a teeny tiny dinosaur. Birds are too far removed. I want a theropod."
- Anna, first thing in the morning

Anna: "I can't make it fit, Captain!"
Ali: "I'm not the Captain."
Anna: "But you're the ranking officer on the bridge!"
Ali: "I have an alien lifeform growing in my head, I'm not in charge."
Anna: "... Wait! Does that mean I'm ranking officer? AAGH!"

Why you need at least two Magnetic Personalities.

"They're finger puppets and they're magnets. ...I could play with these for years."
"Um, yes, you could."
"Imagine the arguments you could make them have. Like, Tesla against Washington."
"...or Frida Kahlo?"
"Or Galileo and Blackbeard."
"Why would you pitch Galileo against Blackbeard?"
"Because Galileo needs pillaging sometimes."

Unemployed Philosopher's Guild Magnetic Personalities.
Like an anachronistic debate club, on your fingers or on your fridge.

"I am a delicate flower, in a sort of Venus flytrap way." - Ali

"I will just lie here and make winsome bread noises!" - Nialle

Ali : Anna, why do you have a teeny tiny purse-sized crowbar?
Nialle: [wearing a 'what did I just walk into' face'] A teeny-tiny purse sized crowbar?
Anna: See? [shows Nialle a teeny tiny purse-sized crowbar]
Ali: See, it was a legitimate question.